tastefullyoffensive:

[via]

Now that I think about it, since my super power is Instant Karma, I’m wondering if my love of eggs and almost all their byproducts has cosmically centered me on bird radar, explaining why I have unbelievably been pooped on by birds 5 times in my life and will ALWAYS be the car that gets pooped on in a wide open parking lot.

thedailywhat:

Marriage Proposal of the Day: The planning! The dorkiness! The tears!

So imperfect it’s perfect.

[thanks, rob!]

The perks of dating a dork/geek and having awesome friends and lots of dancing Jews, hahahaha. <3<3<3  I won’t say yes to someone who proposes to me at using a jumbotron at a sporting event, but I would say yes to this.

View high resolution

domics:

Nailed it

My life, currently.

(via tastefullyoffensive)

thedailywhat:

Early Bird Special: This little gem — which features the cast and crew of the hit Broadway musicalAnything Goes dancing and lip dubbing to “What Makes You Beautiful” — should get your Friday off to a nice start.

[vvv]

Combining lots of things I love, all in one video, hahahaha.

Thanks, Mom.

Mom:	So, you got boyfriend now?
Me:	...No. How many times have I told you this - on the occasion I got a boyfriend, I would be so bewildered and excited that the whole family would probably know within 24 hours. So no, I don't have a boyfriend.
Mom:	Hmph. Bet you learn nothing. Bet you still mean to them to hide yo' feelings for them, like in high school.
Me:	...I don't think I know any boys who would call mean or cold anymore. I think it really is just me. Plus, I don't talk to many. I don't meet many.
Mom:	Don't you live where all da nerdy computa boys are? They probably excited just to talk to even ONE girl, so you don't have to worry that what you say is weird. They probably weird, too.
Me:	...........

laughgenerator:

:3

Sheldon Cooper’s favorite song!

lolz, my li’l sis

My little sister has a hilarious past.  HI-LARIOUS.

She’s around 3.5 years younger and a lesbian makin’ it on her own a la That Girl in LA.

When I was in middle school, when N’SYNC, Backstreet Boys, LFO, 98 Degrees, etc. were all battling on the charts, I had no interest in them.  I was angry with life and had some personal problems going on and felt that only alternately sad and angry female vocalists and gritty alternative bands like Green Day and Offspring spoke to me.  However, strangely, my “tomboy” little sister was waaaay into the boybands.  It was bewildering and embarrassing and hilarious

In hindsight, I realized now that she wished she was one of the members, instead of being “in luv” with any of them like most girls her age. She listened to their music ALL THE TIME.

When I questioned her about this recently, she turned SUPER-RED and laughed in embarrassment.  I uncovered the real reason for her boyband love, bahahahahaha.

Confession Time

I have never been a big follower of hip-hop or rap, so when I came back from Japan, I kept reading (yes, reading) Entertainment Weekly articles about this start called Flo Rida.  And I was like, “There’s a guy who chose his hip-hop name to be the name of a state?”

So I kept calling him “Florida”.  And then I heard on the radio some host say, “[Flow] [Rider (sic)]”.  And I laughed at the host for being an idiot who can’t read…and then realized I must be the stupid one.

Time for A Run.

Me:	All right, Body, let's do this. Time to go for a run!
Body:	...WHAT?
Me:	You heard me! It won't be so bad - you can actually breathe the air here way easier than in VA, remember? No humidity! And it's not like I'm going to sign you up for a marathon or anything!
Body:	I thought we tried this last year and learned our lesson. As in, nothing has changed from our swimming days - Toros don't/can't run. Not without bodily injury, asthma, or general embarrassment. And NOW we're not even in shape!
Me:	Oh, come on, lazy-ass!
Body:	No, seriously...seriously! NOOOooooooooo......
(After the run...)
Me:	I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should've known better. I'm so sorry!
Body:	[whimpers] Don't talk to me ever again!

Dear Chris Mann,

Vibrato is not necessary on EVERY NOTE YOU SING.  In fact, it’s maddening and irritating, except on the important sustained notes.  And don’t use opera training as an excuse - good opera singers know when to use vibrato and when not to.

And yes, I’m a big weenie who likes to watch The Voice every week.  And I think Christina is kind of stupid (albeit ridiculously talented).

-Annie